Well I am at a blog posting milestone. It took me parts of 4 years of writing but this post will my 200th on my website www.shawnmcnabbcounselling.com.  It has been quite a journey both professionally and personally to continue to shape my private counselling practice. This website has and continues to house my thoughts and directions around a variety of topics through my counselling lens.

It is fitting that this post will reflect a variety of thoughts instead of one focus so please forgive me for jumping around.

First and most topical I want to applaud Vice-President Joe Biden and Lady Gaga for their speech and performance at last night’s Academy Awards around the need for increased personal safety and support for women who have been sexually assaulted.  It was a much needed and continued strong voice around this topic. It is important to encourage women who have been victims of dating and relationship violence or random attacks that society wants to help them around whatever they need for support. If it’s to be heard and have feelings validated…then we need to do so. If it’s to support around how to take action around the perpetrator…then we need to stand with them through the process of a conviction. If it is not to proceed with charges…we need to listen and give them the necessary space they need without judgement.

On to another topic, I have been meeting with many clients around anxiety recently. Anxiety, or one’s innate ability or need to fight or flight comes up frequently. When are internal alarm systems have been triggered or activated. I have been getting positive responses around a simple self care tool. I have encouraged many to create their own self care tool box. This allowed many to get creative and think of the things in their daily life that comfort and support. For example it could be your favourite tea, music, a relaxing photo, bubble bath, aroma therapy, notes to remind you to relax etc. Whatever gives you comfort and doesn’t create harm to yourself could be included in your kit. You could get a fancy container from the dollar store or a shoe box to house all your important supports.

Lastly I continue to work hard with couples around enhancing their relationships. Challenges such as…life getting in the way can occur. We all can remember the first time we met that special someone. The excitement, the attraction, the energy of meeting our soul mate. Then events like having children, work and careers, and maybe a few investment can occur and become the focus. Connecting during the day with your partner can sometimes feel like a shift change instead of an opportunity to connect and continue to help evolve this significant life connection. As John Gottman reminds us in her work, seize the opportunity to pay attention to each other daily. He would say that couples continue to make bids to one another as a way to turn towards each other. Unfortunately we tend to forget this or get caught up in life’s daily stressors and we inadvertently find ways to distance our self and turn away.  Just a reminder to attempt to connect with our loved one at least once a day could make a huge difference in your relationship. It is not about reinventing the wheel…it’s just using one simple skill…pay attention to what each other is saying and validate that you’ve heard what they are saying.

If you have any comments in regards to this post, I encourage you to email me at slmcnabb@yahoo.com. Please feel free to contact me for your counselling needs in Surrey, British Columbia.