Posts tagged with: John Gottman

Well I am at a blog posting milestone. It took me parts of 4 years of writing but this post will my 200th on my website www.shawnmcnabbcounselling.com.  It has been quite a journey both professionally and personally to continue to shape my...
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So often I have been approached by couples wanting to change their partners. They so badly just want their ‘other half’ to just get it. That is try to see the issue their way. Typically when there are issues in...
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In response to my previous post around whether you are critical, defensive, show contempt or stonewall when in conflict with your partner, here are antidotes. John Gottman does give solution or comebacks to each of these traits in his 4 Horsemen...
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When it comes to stickhandling through conflict in couple’s work I like to use John Gottman’s 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse tool. He acknowledges that we criticize, become defensive, show contempt or stonewall when we are in conflict with our...
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I want to thank my friends on Twitter for what has become such a great discussion over the past couple of days around the topic of assertiveness. Unfortunately it is difficult to fully explain over 140 characters…so I thought I...
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Just a reminder that if you are in need of some work on your relationship, couple work with a registered clinical counsellor could be a great place to start! Whether you are in a stable relationship and want to make...
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How do we ‘get past’ the numerous disagreements that can happen in our relationship? Well it depends on a number of factors. One begins with which part of the argument do I have control over? It is pretty difficult to...
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There has been a great cliché to describe the art of parenting. Educational courses are provided throughout our schooling. You can learn to add, read, about the past, scientific theories. We can take out manuals on how to cook, drive…but...
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In my time working with couples, being married for over twenty years and knowing many friends who have or are married, I have seen one constant trait: you are not always going to disagree. John Gottman, a couples theorist once...
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I often work from John Gottman’s model using his 4 Horsemen tool. Just a reminder that when you are in conflict with your partner and they are digging their heels in and maybe shutting down communication (Gottman would call this...
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